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Saturday, August 9, 2008

Body Image: I really am Chubby

Skipping up Pilot Butte

Here's me, in all my chubby glory, skipping up Pilot Butte.

I am vain, always have been. So posting a less-than-flattering picture of myself is harder for me than it might seem. I have pictures of me from 5 years ago, 40 pounds lighter, that actually look pretty good, and reflect a more positive self-image.

But I'm not going to post old pictures of the thinner me, because that's not what I look like any more. This picture shows me how I really am, right now.

I'm posting this in response to people who see my head shot and say "you don't look chubby!" and to people who see me in real life, dressed in flattering clothing like skirts and lycra that hide some of the chub. Sometimes they are mad, or feel betrayed, as if I've been fooling them. Like I'm not authentic or real, or fat enough to understand their diet and exercise struggles.

And sometimes thin people get funny when they talk about fat. They want to be careful, don't want to offend you or hurt your feelings. As if you don't know you're fat, and if anyone says it out loud, it makes it suddenly real. Like being fat is worse than cancer. Which it's not.

The thing is, I'm chubby now. Look at me, I'm fat. And I'm tired of it, since I've been "not fat" before, so I'm plugging along, doing my thing, working on my nutrition and exercise and balancing my stress load to get in better shape.

But being fat or being thin isn't my whole life. I don't have cancer, I've never had it, and I'm so happy to have a healthy body. I'm embracing my chub, since it's on my body right now, but I'm encouraging it to burn off into the atmosphere so I can run faster and look cuter in clothes. And live longer, since I like living.

The point of posting this picture? I really am fat, but I'm still having fun, still goofing off, still skipping up the butte. Amazing, but true.

And if I got hit by a car tomorrow, my kids would cherish this picture of their goofball mommy who wasn't too vain, after all, to let everyone see this silly picture her friend took of her skipping up the butte. Because this is me, their Chubby Mommy. They still love me, and so do a lot of other people, no matter what I look like.

Thought for the day to everyone struggling with body image: stop crying, and start skipping.

97 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think after a certain age, and a certain level of life experience, the best way to measure our bodies is by their strength. I am chubby, I've also had three major surgeries in three years, and so when I can do a 20 mile hike in Glacier Park in one day, I think for a minute about my size four pants I can't seem to throw away, but by the end of the day, I'd rather be a stud (albeit a chubby one) and finish the hike in my size 12 shorts.

Anonymous said...

Hi Julie,

It was good to talk with you at Cathy's class this morning.

Regarding your previous post of Cathy - I too would like to look half as good as her. Hopefully, through continuing education & continuing exercise, I will be there by the end of September.

As Oprah would say: 'you go girl'.

juliejulie said...

Yes, I agree, strength is the ticket! And 20 miles in Glacier Park is impressive, no matter what size shorts you wear. Gold star for you, Heidi.

Rod, thanks for reading! I lost 2 whole pounds of fat in the past three weeks since I started working with the Gladiator nutrutionist, woot! Send us your Grand Teton Climb blog, you'll inspire us, too, and I'll give you a gold star.

It's me said...

"Fat" is a funny word. If i say I'm fat, people just in and say "no you're not" and I wonder whether they're really trying to help me or trying to make themselves feel good.

Now, while I'm no longer "fat", I'm still a "big girl". I'll never be little or petite or tiny or svelte or even average! :) I'm zaftig and curvy and could kick someone's ass, so I guess it's all ok! :)

Be a big girl and wear it with pride.

:)

Anonymous said...

Well, I think you look hot. And brave. And real. And strong.
---- Anon. K.

Grumpy but sweet said...

:) i like your chub. i share your chub. let's be chubbily happy. :P

savia said...

I found you via Five Star Friday. And I gotta say - work the chub, gal. I think you look great!

juliejulie said...

Hey there Savia and Five Star Friday Friends! Thanks so much for reading. Now, I have to go read all the other 42 posts!

juliejulie (on Twitter)

Dea said...

You look marvelous - because #1 - you look like a normal, healthy, REAL woman! And #2 - you have the BEST smile, you look like you're having fun! Love it, just found you - will be reading more! :D

Signed - a chubby spinner lol

Annette Piper said...

OK, I'll accede that you're a little cuddly, but you are by NO means fat!!!

I too struggle with it. I could even lose a few pounds and the bulges, dimples are a slight concern... but overall I'm happy feeling healthy (albeit with an extra roll or two of fat!)

Keep up the positive attitude- that really shines through and makes you just about perfect!

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