Okay, okay, I know I may have lured you here with high hopes of reading my hourglass figure measurements (Ha! As if!) but I'm still a married mommy of three, and not so into sharing everything, as I've mentioned before.
I do realize some of you have been wondering if all my running and working out with Malibu Stacey over the past few months has actually produced any real results.
"How much weight have you lost?" you ask, and "Where's the bikini shot?"
Yeah, well, no bikini shot yet. Trust me on this.
The thing is, I haven't lost that many pounds since April when I first started working out with Stacey and keeping track of all these numbers, but I've lost many, many inches, and people have been noticing that. Heck even I noticed it.
My clothes fit better, I like being stronger, and I like the idea that maybe this running and lifting weights thing will continue to melt me, even if it's just little by little, and surely this will help my bones and stuff as I get older and older every year.
So here are my numbers, dear readers, and I'm giving you the number of inches I've lost, because it's my blog and I get to do whatever I want.
Waist: I lost 4 inches off my waist. That's as much as a balance beam those tiny gymnasts flit around on while they're doing cartwheels and backflips. Someone could win a gold medal on the width of my excess waist fat. Ick.
Belly: I lost 2.5 inches off the widest part of my belly. That's as wide as a $1 bill. Or a $20. Or $100.
Hips: I lost 3 inches off my hips. That's the width of the top of the large sized Honey Nut Cheerios box. Yum. I love those things.
Bust: I lost 2 inches off my bust. That's like a Ritz cracker. Oh stop whining boys, I'm sure some of that was back fat. Yuck. See how clever I am? I got your mind out of the gutter. Right?
Thigh: I lost 1.5 inches off the widest part of my thigh. That seems like a lot for a thigh. Hmm...now I'm trying to figure out what's 1.5 inches wide so I can compare it. Do you have any ideas?
So, as you can see, I've made some real progress here, and the number on scale doesn't matter as much as it used to.
Stacey says: "Don't walk around with the scale on your forehead. No one knows how much you weigh, it's not written on your head, right? It doesn't matter how much you weigh if you're in good shape. Muscle weighs twice as much as fat and it's four times as small."
And then she makes me do wall sits, which I hate. And she won't let me cheat, which I also hate.
So even though I'm not quite as hot as Valerie Bertinelli in a bikini, slow going is better than no-going, I say. I'll give you some more numbers in a few months.
Because I know you care.