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Friday, April 10, 2009

@juliejulie meets Malibu Stacey

This is Stacey. She's my new personal trainer at Snap Fitness in Bend. She is nothing like the Malibu Stacey Lisa Simpson sparred with a few years back, but I like to think I am as cool as the Lisa Lionheart doll that Lisa created to be a smart, intelligent option for young girls to look up to. Of course, Malibu Stacey was a hit, and only one little girl bought Lisa Lionheart.

But that's not the point. At least I don't think so, but I'm not sure what my point is here.

So anyway, it turns out that in addition to being cute, my Stacey is smart and funny and in terrifically good shape. She has two little kids and knows about real life, and will help me get in shape for the long haul.

Plus she did not make me get on a scale, so I think we'll be friends.

Also, she said I could still drink one shot of vodka a night, fine with her, no problem, as long as it was just one. And that if I was going to a party and wanted two drinks, I just couldn't drink one the next night. And when I asked her if I could save all seven drinks for one night, she said sure, that was fine. I might die, but theoretically, it was fine

We might become best friends.

Also, she laughed at my lame jokes, the ones I told to try to distract her from forcing me to do horrible things like lunges:

I was hoping there'd be no lunges. Resistance was futile.

She also made me balance on this squishy ball thingy

which is much harder than it looks. Stacey's quick as a wink with a steady hand, because she snapped this picture right before I fell off, and was nice enough not to take another shot of me crumpled up on the ground stifling bad words.

But since I was down there she made me do sit ups.

This is me sporting my new, totally fake smile, can you tell?

But the main reason I like Stacey is I know she worked hard to take the most flattering pictures of me possible, which is not easy, and I have some really bad ones to prove it, and she did not roll her eyes at me for being a tricky combination of chubby and vain.

She did not once say: "Maybe if you work out more, you'll have a good reason to be vain, and maybe this song could be about you," because she would not say such a mean thing. I don't think she is vain, but she should be. If I were her, I would be.

If my Stacey had a string on her back like Malibu Stacey, she would probably say things like:

"Ten more seconds! Yes. I am looking at a real clock. Yes. It has a real second hand."

She is a good sport, this Stacey person. And I spent most of yesterday forcing myself not to say "Bad Stacey!" every time I sat down. Or stood up. Or, you know, moved.

Plus, she friended me on Facebook, which means I can't complain about her online. See, told you she was smart.


Les said...

That looks like a fun workout! The first 3 weeks are the hardest with any workout, after that it becomes a habit and your body starts missing those lunges. Really!

juliejulie said...

I don't believe you about the lunges, Les. But we'll see what happens. Thanks for reading!

Dogs by Bri said...

Nice work Julie.

Love the Simpson references.


I have to agree your body will crave the workouts.

malibu stacey said...

Ok, you are so funny, and a great writer! Glad to hear your sore! And yes next week you will get on the scale!
Malibu Stacey

Matt said...

Julie you crack me up. This should be a fun journey, can't wait for the next post!

See you in the gym

juliejulie said...

Stacey! The scale? Dang it, I thought you were my friend?


Greg said...

You go, Julie. I've realized in the last year or two that I'm not a youth anymore... and when you have a wife that has run the Ironman in Lake Placid twice, you've got a bit of an inspiration. All that to say, I'll be joining you soon in the hating of lunges.

Someone at work was trying to get me to do the P90X by "beachbody". Sounds gimmicky, so I'll just each chocolate bars and Doritos until he reports back with the results.