Friends of Bill and Melinda?

So, we're getting closer to asking Google if they want to buy our start-up company. We haven't asked yet, since we're not sure who to call, but that's just a technicality, I'm sure. Since we're confident we'll be changing the world (for the better) with our new software tool, we're just sure they'll want it, as soon as they know about it, of course.

We are in this start-up business for noble causes, really. We want to help people, just like Google does. It is our mantra, to help people. We aren't just trying to get rich. I swear.

But the closer we get to the goal, the more I worry how being an instant Google ga-zillionaire might change my life and it does scare me a bit. It's not that I'd mind being super rich, it's just I'm not sure how to be super rich.

Here's what's probably hard about being super rich:

1. People might ask you for money all the time. I do not have this problem currently. Now, it does not occur to PBS to call me during those marathon fundraising shows. I'm not even on their radar.
2. People might ask you if they can join you on your yacht during yacht season. I don't even know when yacht season is. And I'm really not that into boats anyway. Plus, there is no way I'm going to wear a swimsuit and sunbathe on a yacht, and risk some paparazi guy taking a picture of my chubby mommy behind and ending up on the cover of People Magazine.
3. I might have to get a gate for my driveway, or something. Of course, I'd have to get a house, I suppose. We're renting now, and our driveway is 10 feet from our neighbor's driveway. It would seem so silly to gate it.
4. I'd have to find dates to go to charity functions. My husband hates those things, and it gets old going to those things alone all the time, I'm sure.
5. I'd have to have staff. A big house with a yard big enough for a gated driveway means a heck of a lot of cleaning and gardening, which I won't have time for if I'm forced to yacht and go to charity functions all the time. Having staff means you never get your house to yourself to sneak in episodes of HGTV craft shows just for the hell of it. If you have cooks, housekeepers and nannies in this day and age, they expect you to be doing something useful with your life, I'd think. I do not need to pay people to make me feel guilty.

I'm hoping I can call Melinda Gates for advice if I need to. She seems so grounded, really. And I've never seen pictures of her in a bathing suit on the cover of People. She must know all the clever tricks to being super rich, I'm sure she'd be happy to help me.