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Friday, February 19, 2010

The Advantages of Having Multiple Partners

Hi – I’m excited to run with you! I need more than one running partner in case one of you bails out. Also, your dog is a big plus, and your bad running pants make me feel superior. Can I use your real name in the blog? Send me a picture of your dog.

Dear Julie - I prefer to go by Roxanne for unknown reasons even to myself, and I absolutely think you should write about 'superior running pants'! You've gotta write the truth, you know? Here is my dog Inga (not his real name) waiting to go running. We measured his nose - it is 7 inches long! I went for a short 2 mile run today, because I know we are gonna be balls-to-the-walls, uber runners tomorrow, Julie. Since I am nearly 50, it is easy for me to use my age as an excuse not to run as far.

Dear Roxanne - Oh, he is a beauuuuuutiful dog. Wait, don't you have a bunch of things to do for the school auction tomorrow? Or is that Lori? Also, my knee hurts, since I am close to 50 too, and I had to walk during my run today, so I might have to put off uber running until next time.

Dear Julie - Sounds good, except you are 44, and that’s not close to 50. But as you know, I LOVE excuses either to run shorter distances, walk during runs, or not run at all. So the fact we are really going is a big plus.Lori has some things for me to do but my morning is free. She is not the boss of me.

Dear Roxanne - Let's run at 9:00, along the dirt path behind Lori’s house so we can spy on her. We'll need binoculars. Do you have some? It's only fair, since she has that huge telescope she uses to spy on people. See you tomorrow.

Dear Julie - Listen I am up at 4am, having anxiety about my new dilemma: Lori says I have to go to Staples at 9:00. Can you run after school? And yes, I want to go the spy route and watch Lori. She will probably be getting her auction wardrobe out - I would think.

Dear Roxanne – Staples seems like a good excuse. Please send a picture of you stapling something, for the blog. I am sorry to say I am booked after school with some pretty good excuses like working, ice skating, chaperoning a 5th grade dance, and taking my mannequin to a rock concert.

Dear Julie – No worries about excuses, especially mannequin excuses. I won’t ask, you don’t have to tell.

Dear Roxanne – Also, the concert thing will end up on YouTube, so I should wash my hair, and wear something besides crotchless underwear and baggy running pants, right? They are crotchless due to the naughty puppy chewing them up, not because I bought naughty undies, by the way. Can you run tomorrow?

Dear Julie – Let’s talk about tomorrow and underwear later. I’ve gotta run. To Staples, I mean. I swear we’ll go running soon, maybe, okay?


nelsoneroni said...

No fair! You get to use cool fake names but not for ME? In all future communications, please refer to me as Cadaver Girl. Ms. J., I think I need to fill you in on my cadaverous adventures....

nelsoneroni said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
juliejulie said...

Dear Lori aka nelsoneroni: but you're already a character in my blog as yourself, during that golf post, remember? So I just have to keep you consistent. And Cadavers are cool. I want to see one in real life. We should do a little show about them.