The Moldy Costco Lifestyle

I find it hard to stick to my healthy eating plan when we get low on groceries.

I need my chicken and turkey to not be slimy, and wilted lettuce, bend-y carrots, and shriveled apples make me sigh and reach for peanut butter toast.

So last night I went to Costco and stocked up on the fresh. Now the problem is how to eat all these super-size containers of fruits and veggies before they get moldy in the heat.

I know I must enlist the help of the children to eat all of this produce. They will happily eat almost any fruit or vegetable that's washed, dried and put out in front of them, preferably on a hand made plate from a local artist, perhaps with a sprig of parsley and radish flower for garnish.

Too bad Martha Stewart isn't their mother.

I never have enough room in my fridge for all this stuff that lands in my cart at Costco, so I usually put the produce on the porch at night, where Bend's late spring temperatures can still drop down to 40'. I'm so clever to have thought of this, I think.

My problem is I always forget to bring bring everything back inside before noon, when the thermometer can climb back up to 88' on a good day, and close to 100' on a hot day.

So, then, you know, everything starts to mold. Then it gets cold at night again, so the mold gets cold, but it's still mold. Then it heats up again, so it's...not so good after a few days, which makes my husband frown.

"Why do you spend so much money on these science experiments?" He asks. "You could just leave the same bag of lemons out there all summer, you don't have to keep buying new bags on Mondays just to throw them away on Sundays."

So now it's time to make lemonade. And fruit salad. And lovely plates of fancy veggies artistically arranged around bowls of hand crafted hummus and what-not.

Except I'm the only one who eats hummus around here, and I don't even like it that much, so it always, you know, goes bad after a week or so, and sits in the back of the fridge, taking up space.

Martha, where are you when I need you? Also, could you clean out my fridge so I'll have more room in there for all this beautiful, fresh stuff?